I was wondering what your favourite lines, quotes or song lyrics are?
Here's mine:
Film - Withnail and I:

" This place has become impossible. Nothing to eat, freezing cold and now a madman on the prowl outside with eels"

" I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder"

" We've gone on holiday by mistake"

" I want something's flesh"

Songs:
Queens of the Stone Age
"I want something good to die for to make it beautiful to live"

Cant remember who sang this but it's
" There's a black cat lying in the shadow of a gate post".

Favourite Quote From Spike Milligan
" I'm a hero with Cowards legs"

Muhammad Ali :
"Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up"

" I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on"

Oscar Wilde:
" A true friend stabs you in the front"

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally"

Well theres a sampling, would be good to hear what makes you laugh, inspires you etc.

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

- Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?

- We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

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And I like chinese proverbs
I lol @ this one

Your neighbor's wife looks prettier than your own.

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Just found another one...

Winston Churchill
"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him."

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

"I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now-
Even though you broke my heart,
and killed me.

And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!"

--glados


"If everyone became so sensitive
I wouldn’t have to be so sensitive

Love is a lie, which means I've been lied to,
Love is a lie, which means I've been lied to,
Love is a lie, which means I've been lied to,"

--Maximo Park

my favourite quotes from the annuls of mx history

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Hmmmmm......

How about....

'Be careful what you wish for, it may come true'

and

' It's easier to apologise than to ask for permission'

I try hard to live by the first one and I'm trying harder to not live by the second one.

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DMW - some days you're the Dogg, some days you're the tree.......

"Happy Days" - Evil Sausages

"I can tell you but then I'd have to kill you, it's classified"
Maverick, Top Gun.

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh"
George Bernard Shaw
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)

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alex'banana wrote ...

I got banned around a year ago and what happened is i went to the loo and came back and i was banned.

Yes...we don't take that much crap here....

I LOVE LAMP

Brick 'Anchorman'

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

"I bite my tongue every time you come around 'cos blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground" - Incubus

"It's not often you get to say in front of a big audience that you've had glitter in your arse."

"That's the thing, in a deaf class, no-one can hear you scream..."

"It is a dark night in the forest! Out of the moonlight swoops a tiny bird and it begins pecking at my ear, pecking and pecking! deeper and deeper! help me! help me! I've got SPARROWS in my MIND!"

all 3 from Ross Noble xD

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

Three of my favourites from the Marx Brothers

Going through, and completely decimating, a contract:
Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"

To the, long suffering, Margaret Dumont:
Groucho: "You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. "

Chico is being cross examined on the witness stand:
Chico: "Now I aska you one. What has a trunk, but no key, weighs 2,000 pounds and lives in a circus?"
Prosecutor: "That's irrelevant."
Chico: "Irrelephant? Hey, that'sa right answer. There's a whole lot of irrelephants in the circus. "

And if you've never seen a Marx Bros movie, go watch "Duck Soup". Completely insane and in appalling taste in the best possible way. How can you not love a film with a song and dance routine called "The Country's Going to War"

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Peanut - "... or is your beard broken again ...?"

Oh my word i have loads of quotes that i say, mostly to the wife

but ive just been reading 'Azincourt' by Bernard Cornwall and all way through the book ive been thinking of the famous Shakespeare quotes from Henry V, and just like you get a song stuck in your head ive got these lines stuck in mine:

'Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,
Or close the wall up with our English dead!'

'The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit; and, upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry! England and Saint George!'

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;'

omg shakespear in a UKMD thread

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"Red Dwarf" Gunmen of the Apocalypse (1993)

Rimmer: Look, we've all got something to contribute to this discussion. And I think what you should contribute from now on is silence.

and just remembered one of my favourite film quotes:

Colour Sergeant Bourne: It's a miracle.
Lieutenant John Chard: If it's a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it's a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle.
Colour Sergeant Bourne: And a bayonet, sir, with some guts behind.

from Zulu

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Well, if Nick can double post ....

From Blackadder II (Elizabethan). Edmund is seeking out the fabled "Wisewoman"

Crone: "Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is ... a woman! ...and second, she is ... "
Edmund: "Wise?"
Crone: "You do know her then?"
Edmund: "No, just a wild stab in the dark which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful."

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Peanut - "... or is your beard broken again ...?"

"Yatta" (Heoroes it means " I did it ")

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They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

Bark twice if your in Milwaukee.

I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

Anchor man quotes. Never get old.

"Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?"

"......i don't know"

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

I think it's from the song Don't Go by Hothouse Flowers.

A couple of quotes from Winston Churchill:

Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

They say that love is blind
And marriage is an institution,
So why do we choose to live in an institution for the blind?

Lovin the Henry V quotes Nick, I used to have that as my sig

My current sig is also one of my fav quotes

there are loads of song lyrics and film quotes I could add (starts to dig through the t'internet to find them ) ...

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Wassa matta you eh? gotta no respec, why you looka so sad, it's a not so bad, it's a nice a place, oh shaddupa ya face, thatsa my momma...

The amazing and soul searching Jo Dulce

Brilliant!

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

anchorman Ftw

Random woman: "Smells Like Bigfoots Dick"
Ron: "That escalted quickly, i mean really quickly, Brick did u throw a trident?"
Ron: "Oh Baxter you are my little gentleman ill take you to Foogy London Townn.... This Borito is good but sure is filling"
Ron to Brian Fontana"I Hit him With a Boritoo, then he took him and hit him with his foot" "What someone punted him?"


You realli have to watch the film to get it =P

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|UKMD| Melon wrote ...

dont make me show u my melons im warning you

|UKMD| Melon wrote ...

dont make me show u my melons im warning you

Spyro wrote ...

No Shad thats not a banana, im just that excited too see you %-6

"All I want to do is either kick ass or chew gum, and right now I'm all out of gum..."

Or the mighty Blues Brothers...
" Right now we have a full tank of gas and half a pack of cigarrettes, it's dark and were wearing sunglasses..."

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

You are only who you want to be

-Myself (I think...I might have like...Picked it up on some random website, so if you see it, yell at me)

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Kill them all!!...Or...Don't...Whatever's cool...:S

MҲ|Riley wrote ...

Safari Jim - simultaneously reinventing the male menopause and early mid-life crisis via steam !
Just be a little wary of the over 30 (or thereabouts) core admin teamspeak clique .....

"that'll do Pig, that'll do"
the farmer from Babe and Babe 2, A pig in the city.

or from an rap track
"I am whatever you say I am"

and the cat thing is
Hothouse Flowers, Dont Go
did google it but I can remember the track and how it goes, just always rubbish at remembering the bands.

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"I'm not a god, I was misquoted. "

googled this as well to see what other pearls of wisdom are out there

liked
" If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill----seems to fit with a lot of modern life
"Every path has its puddle." English proverb-----------simple and true
"We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing." fitting for a bunch of 30 something gamers
and my personal fav
"You can't fall off the floor" Tito's Law!

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"I'm not a god, I was misquoted. "

"How can you have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? Look at him. He's so cute. And plushy."
"Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again..."
"What is a simple bite on the butt among friends? Cmon, give me a nibble!"
"Maurice, my arm is tired, wave it for me. Faster, you naughty little monkey!"
"Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow."
"The foosa. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off."
"Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? No? Good. So shut up."
"How long is this going to take?"
"If he is a King then where is his crown? I've got a crown, got a very nice one and its here on my head. Look at it. Have I got it on?"
and finally:
"Oh shut up, you're so annoying!"

Madagascar <3

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Do i really need one?

"im a bad father a lousy husband and a snappy dresser" - Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
cant fink of any more atm, ill come back later wen ive woken up abit

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You wont see me until its too late

The Madness of King George... " I think I may have a fart"

or

The greatest line from a film ever???
Spinal Tap...

"It Goes all the way up to 11..."

!amazed

[ Edited Mon Oct 27 08, 10:36AM ]

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

We all make choices in life, but in the end our choices make us.

-Andrew Ryan, Bioshock.

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

You cant put a better bit of butter on your bread...
(or was that knife...Hmmmmmmmmm)

Like the avatar Joe, I used to have that one, good to see a fan of Mr. Banksy here.

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

i loooove Banksy =D
i'm pretty sure i saw him when i was in london, he was scouting about a huge wall looking shifty, and a MASSIVE Banksy piece was one there 3 days later xD

i'm considering changing it in favour of a ZP one though, cos i perhaps love him more =P

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

no idea who ZP is...
my favourite artist is Gustav Klimt.

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

Monty Python's quest for the holy grail
(english person impersonating french accent) "you smelly english! your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elder berries, and i fart in your general direction!"
umm..... other one is blue harvest "luke, use the force. stick that thing in there like i showed u with those puppets, but dont tell nobody or you will get in truble"

sorry for speeling but it saves me time xD

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|UKMD|DUNK wrote ...

"there are more than enough of us hairy assed scottish men to take you all on"

Oh there are so many!

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time." Terry Pratchett

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." - Oscar Wilde

"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

"Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I made myself perfectly CLEAR?!?!" - Baldur's Gate, if you've ever played an rpg you'll understand!

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Maybe your grandiose vocabulary is a pathetic compensation for an insufficiency in the nether regions of your anatomy

quoted for ultimate win =D

Terry Pratchett @ favourite author EVER (:

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

lookie linky:



ZP is love, best game reviews ever.

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come to the TMP, only it can save you.

I see what you mean... very funny...
not sure I'd be puuting him alongside some of the worlds great artists but I can see the appeal...

Another line..
"Mr.O'Reilly if you don't come and fix my door right now I shall insert a large garden gnome in you"
Basil Fawlty

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

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WAs that Kennedy or Lincoln or some other such Person,...
OOh I came across as reeeeet smart there didn't I.

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

If all the economists were laid end to end, they'd never reach a conclusion.

George Bernard Shaw

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

"Does God want goodness or the choice of goodness? Is a man who chooses to be bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?"

“Choice. The boy has no real choice, has he? Self-interest, the fear of physical pain drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. Its insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.”

- A Clockwork Orange (Anthony Burgess)

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REDRUM
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.

Music Video made by me and my brothers

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields

Classic.

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

thought I'd add some more as bored at work and these made me laugh.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

W.C.Fields

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
- Bob Hope

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
- Ed Furgol

[on Women's period]
I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Mr.Garrison

I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Groucho Marx


[ Edited Sat Nov 15 08, 01:52PM ]

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Where theres a will theres a relative...



Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana

The postal service - Such great heights

I am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images
and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.

And I have to speculate
that God Himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay.

And true it may seem like a stretch
but it's thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away
and when I am missing you to death.

And when you are out there on the road
for several weeks of shows
and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home.

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay

I tried my best to leave
this all on your machine
but the persistent beat
it sounded thin upon the sending.

and that frankly will not fly
you'll hear the shrillest highs
and lowest lows with the windows down
and this is guiding you home.

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay

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I love meh pancakes

"Barely conscious in the door where you stand
Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes its demands
You laugh at every word trying hard to be cute
I almost feel sorry for what I'm going to do
And your hair smells of smoke
Who will cast the first stone?
You can sin or spend the night all alone"

"I am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
I am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised."

"I'm there to monitor your breathing I will watch you while you're sleeping. I will keep you safe and sound."

All from songs by Brand New

Lady Astor - "Mr Churchill - you're DRUNK!"
Churchill - "Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly"

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.Tito's Law. - You can't fall off the floor